Barranquilla, Colombia

Hello,

My name is Erik. After my trip to Barranquilla, I feel like Erik the Great.

You see, 6 weeks ago, I had a dream. I dreamed I would go to Barranquilla, play my accordion, dance to Colombian music,
meet beautiful women, and have the time of my life.

And, you know what? I did.

For me, the Tour was a fairy tale and I was the main character. Everything good and wonderful happened to me. It was better than I could have ever dreamed. I honestly can not imagine my life being any better.

Here’s my story.

I am 70 years old. I had a wonderful marriages, a beautiful wife and tons of children and grandchildren. My wife was Catholic.

Ten years ago, I retired to Florida and that was that.

Then, by accident, three years ago, I stumbled onto I Love Latins while surfing the Internet.
Out of curiosity, I wrote to Sam and inquired. Sam responded immediately.
But, truly, I had no reason to go because I was content. Lonely, but content.

Then, in July, Sam sent me another flyer for the I Love Latins September tour.
I wrote him again, knowing full well, that I wouldn't go. I had no reason to go. I was content.
Sam responded with the words, "I've been reading your emails for the last 3 years and...."
In a word or two, Sam was telling me to either _ _ _ _ or get off the pot.

Wow, three years. Had I been bothering that good, honest, decent man that long?
Oh, yes, Sam is a very moral man. He is sincere. You will not be cheated or misled by Sam.
I can vouch for that personally when he stepped up to bat for me regarding my hotel room.

I decided to do some research on Colombia - thank God for the Internet. And, that's when it happened.

As I was browsing YouTube, I heard and saw a peculiar Latin music, native to the Barranquilla area. It excited me. It was my kinda music. The music is called Vallenato.
And, to my amazement the people in Barranquilla are crazy about it, just like I am today.
In fact, as I write this letter, I am listening to Diomedes Diaz, the King of Vallenato.
I bought $85 worth of CDs to bring home. Of course, I play the accordion and had 3 family Polka bands that traveled all over the Midwest. Once you hear Vallenato, you'll see what I mean.

So, I decided to go on the tour, not to meet a future wife, but to hear Vallenato music. I figured that Sam's organization would give me a good place to rendezvous. Every day, I could sally forth to hear that happy Latin music. Besides, the tour was cheap, $900. Ya gotta be kidding.

Then, I decided to take a step up. I decided to learn a Vallenato song, write a script, and present it before the I Love Latin's Gala Evening Programs on Friday and Saturday night. I had a captured audience of hundreds of beautiful women. Why not?

I packed my bags and was on my way. Late Thursday evening, I landed in Barranquilla. I was thinking about the music and the bright lights on Friday and Saturday night.

As I walked out of the airport looking for Sam, I saw this cartoon bus from Looney Tunes with the wildest Latin music blaring from its speakers, tons of beautiful women, and a smiling, portly, middle aged man with extended hand, and a warm smile. "Welcome to Barranquilla," he said. It was Sam.

Almost immediately, I was swarmed by beautiful women and escorted onto the bus. The bus kicked into gear. And, merrily we rolled through the streets of Barranquilla. I didn't know it at the time, but, that happy Latin music was Vallenato. I couldn't control myself.
So, I stood up and danced with the beautiful Senorita behind me, all the way to the hotel. I also didn't know it, but that Senorita came from a dairy farm in the city of Valledupar which is the birth place of Vallenato. She and her sister were fanatic Vallenato fans. They drove hundreds of miles to Vallenato festivals. We became good friends.

At the hotel, Sam introduced me to Lucy, my translator. What a cutie pies she was, intelligent, helpful, responsible, and always watching over me. A real mother hen. No cabbie came close to cheating me with Lucy by my side. In fact, after one day with Lucy,
I just opened my wallet and let Lucy extracted the correct amount of pesos to pay for whatever I bought.

That night Lucy took me to hear Vallenato music. It was a dive, but it was Vallenato. We got home at two o'clock in the morning. Luckily, Lucy, who is a medical student, had the week off and gave me her full attention.

The next day was Friday, D Day. I spent the morning practicing my script and accordion. That afternoon, I met a soon to be gute Kameraden, Mark, from North Carolina. I never laughed so much or hard in my life as I did with Mark. He is my friend today. In fact, he just called to tell me that he is sending me pictures of our Cartagena trip. That was wild.

That evening, my presentation of music and poetry went off spectacularly. I felt like a star. The people were more than receptive, they were inebriating. Afterwards, as the guys walked from the stage, we were swarmed by hundreds of beautiful women. It was unbelievable.

Late that evening, after talking with more beautiful women than I could count, Lucy helped me escape with the girl I danced with on the bus and her equally pretty sister to a big Vallenato Club in Barranquilla, The Champagne Vallenato Club. We danced all night long. The music drove me berserk. At four o'clock in the morning, we shut the club down. At five o'clock, we were still in front of the club talking to band members and four guys who joined our table inside.

The next morning Mark and I had breakfast at the hotel and decided to go shopping at the Buena Vista Mall. We both took our translators and laughed all the way down and all the way back.

That night, as we were preparing for the second Gala Event in the hotel convention center, Mark did something that just about killed me. He walked down the hotel steps into the lobby, all dressed up in white pants, Miami Vice shirt, hair slicked back, clean shave, Evening in Paris Cologne. But, something was wrong, terribly wrong with Mark. In his excitement to meet all those beautiful women in the lobby,
he forgot to zip up his pants, and his shirt tail was sticking out the front. To get the full impact of this vision, you'd have to know Mark. He was a very proper Southern Gentleman, something from Gone With The Wind.... another Rhett Butler, if you will.

That night, I didn’t do my show. I didn't want to mar the memory of my Friday night performance. Once again, the guys made our fashion debut to the ooohs and aaaahs of the ladies, walked from the stage, and into the arms of a new bevy of beautiful Latin women.

I walked around the hall, talking to the women, and passing out business cards and CDs of Vallenato music. Lucy was dutifully by my side, helping me in every way. Truly, she was a blessing.

After the Gala Event, the two sisters from Valledupar took me to a friend's baptism party in Barranquilla. Let me tell you this, those beautiful Barranquilla women love their beer, or is it cerveza?

Around eleven o’clock, I was back at the hotel and ready for bed. Just as my weary head touched the pillow and my eyes blinked off to sleep, I heard that hypnotic rhythm and the pulse of accordion. Instantly, my legs carried me to the shower, put on fresh clothes, and danced me down to the hotel disco. Midway through the dancing, a Mariachi band marched in. Wow, says I. I can do that. So, I ran back to my room, grabbed my accordion, and joined the Mariachi band. Somewhere around four o’clock, I carried my soggy accordion back to my room and crashed.

The next day was Sunday. At nine o’clock, the Looney Tunes bus with the happy music appeared and whisked us to a Pool Party somewhere near Lake Woebegone. I sat with the two Vallenato sisters who took excellent care of me. After all, we were family now. At the pool,
I swam with another school of beautiful women. In the background, a Cumbia band played. But, the natives danced anyway. I asked the leader to play Vallenato. But, he didn’t understand English. So, I got trash.

But, then it happened, just like Sam said. A very quiet girl came to me and told me how much she enjoyed my Friday night show and the poem I wrote. She was beautiful. She treated me so nice. I was smitten. She was 40 years my junior. But, it didn't matter. I wrote down her name and phone number, never dreaming that she would go with me.

That evening Mark and I hung around the hotel until one o'clock in the morning. Then, Robert walked in. Robert is Barranquilla’s version of, “You need it. I got it.” His friend is Armando. Armando looks like Kojak and Robert looks like the Count of Monte Christo. Robert asked me what I wanted to do. Silly rabbit. I said, Vallenato. At two in Monday morning, Robert said, No problem. He loaded Mark and I into a cab and whisked us a park. At the park, with both hands waving and people scurrying to do his bidding, he made three guys appear with plastic lawn chairs and escort us to one side of the park. Then, out of nowhere, he made four more guys appear with…
you guessed it… musical instruments. Yep, they were Vallenato musicians. Barranquilla must be crawling with them. Then, a cab pulled up and two beautiful women got out of the cab. For the next two hours, we had Vallenato music and lovely ladies to dance with. The band even played a special song dedicated to Erik. Five o'clock to bed.

The next morning, I called the girl from the pool party and asked her to go out that evening.
She said, Yes. We’ve been together ever since. She loves Vallenato music and me.

On Thursday, The Champagne Club had a big festival with three big name bands. All day Thursday, I took my Senorita shopping for a beautiful dress and shoes. That night, she was a knock-out. She was the prettiest girl at the dance. We danced and danced. Not to brag, but I think I could give Travolta a lesson or two. Everyone gave me thumbs up all night long. We shut the joint down and had fun, fun, fun.
Of course, Lucy and her boyfriend, Rudy were there too.

The next morning, my good buddy Mark and I, lounging on his king size bed, had a long talk about all the wonderful things that were happening to us.

In the afternoon, I hired a motorcycle and toured of the city. You can rent a bike and driver for pennies. Downtown Barranquilla is something to see. It is both the home of the Mayor of the City and the Governor of the state of Atlántico. I saw the home of South America’s largest carnival, the immense cathedral, and the magnificent statue of Simon Bolivar who liberated South America. It sits in the center of town. The place is teeming with people and shops. My driver, Raoul, treated me to a big glass of freshly squeezed juice. The best I ever tasted. In fact, I had two glasses.

When we got back to the hotel, Rauol asked for $6K pesos. I gave him $20K ($8). I thought he would cry. He was so happy. $20K is a ton of money in BAQ. Americans are millionaires by comparison. The Barranquillians are so appreciative of everything.

I was having so much fun in Barranquilla that I changed my flight three times, eventually leaving on the following Monday.

I could go on and on and on about my two weeks in Barranquilla, but the story has a happy ending.
I asked the girl to marry me and she said, Yes.

So, now I'm back in the states figuring out how to get a residency and move to Barranquilla where I’ll be happy for ever and ever.

The End